Rivalry

Christmas was a tough time for me. Trying to figure out what to get the kids was driving me crazy—they were all so afraid that one might get more than another, and thus was a "favored" child! Sheesh! I finally decided to confront them with my feelings, and see how they felt about my dilemma. I called them together, and told them that I had come up with three possible solutions: 1) give them each a check for the same amount; 2) buy identical gifts; or 3) buy each of them what I thought he/she would like the most even if I spent different amounts. I asked their choice, or if they had a better idea. They unanimously chose #3. So I was off the hook. I also told them that there would be times when one of them might need more attention than the others, but the amount of attention given was no measurement of love. I explained that one cannot compare love between individuals. We had quite a discussion on feelings for friends, parents, grandparents, and other family. I could see that they were beginning to grasp the idea.Things improved greatly after our "talk". 

I still had some delicate times with René. She had a fear of doctors which was profound. I surmised that it was association with losing her mom, and took her to a few sessions with a psychologist. I think it helped a little, but the sessions were beyond our budget, and the improvement was not that apparent—but he did give her some tools to help her face issues later in life. Another problem between us was that she had a very low tolerance for pain. My pain tolerance level has always been very high, (too high—I don't feel anything soon enough to get early aid) and, I had to learn to give sympathy for what was a really big thing to her even though I'd have shrugged off the same thing had it happened to me. An example was the first time she came crying holding one hand with the other, "Look, she sobbed." I expected to see a gaping wound, but honestly didn't see anything more than a tiny red spot. She was obviously in real pain, and I began to understand that she had a very sensitive, and keen system. All of her senses were/are much sharper than normal. If she hears, smells, or tastes something—believe her! It will eventually prove that she's right.

The picture is another shot of the cow pond. It is Mel (cut off his head to be sure I got a great shot of the fish—lol) with a stringer of beauties caught about ¼ mile from our front door!  

Hugs!