Bye Bye

The fact that Mel didn't like the drunken bum either gave us both a new way to view the problem. This was my first true understanding of the saying I'd heard repeatedly—"I am powerless to alcohol". He had zero control over the bastard! However, that's not quite true—preventing the drunk taking over was as easy as not taking the first drink.  Without booze, he was the guy we both liked.  

The fact that we'd separated the drunk from the great guy also allowed Mel to save face. He didn't have to wallow in remorse, or apologize for having hurt so many—it wasn't Mel that had done those hurtful things—it was the drunk! 

Mel did attend an AA meeting at my insistence, but said that it was not the program for him—that he'd do it himself. He did talk with one man at the AA meeting who gave Mel his phone number and offered to sponsor him. I told Mel that he was the only one that could do it, and to follow his conscience. 

A couple of "dry" days later, Mel confessed that he'd called the sponsor saying that he really wanted a drink. The wise sponsor told him to go out and drink, then,—you know how that will turn out! Mel also told me, that day, that he craved sugar. I'm certain that you could see the light bulb over my head! Of course you crave sugar—you've been "drinking"  the equivalent of cups of sugar every day, and you are having carbohydrate withdrawal! "Get in the car!", I ordered. We went to a candy store, and I told him to stock up on everything that appealed. He protested at the expense. "Verses drinking?", I reminded him. "But, I'll break out!". he worried. I love sober broken out! 

The candy eased the cravings, and we were already over the hump! Mel ate about a pound of chocolate every day! But, he was able to gradually wean off of it. And we had the guy we both liked! In October we'll celebrate 30 years of his glorious sobriety! Bye bye drunken bastard! We don't miss you at all!